Sweetest Nectar (sonnet) (IV)

04 Sep

Sweetest Nectar

Mine eyes doth drink of your essence so pure;
distilled from the sweetest fruits of this earth.
So that I realize the truth, my life’s worth,
I continue drinking from your allure.
For in you, I feel so safe and secure.
Like a newborn baby upon his birth,
your soul, it fills me with such glee—such mirth.
Let it never end, let there be no cure.

And though I know—alone I can be me,
I’d rather stay and sip from your chalice;
continue to assimilate your love.
For only then do I really feel free,
from all the strife in life—free of malice.
You’re the Nectar of God, sent from above.

© September 4, 2010 CRF

So, yesterday I was skimming through posts on the tagsurfer section of WordPress. I came across a poem that was called a sonnet in its title. It certainly was a poem. I’m not putting down the inspired work of another. My problem is with it being called a sonnet.

By far the majority of sonnets are written in iambic pentameter, (the kyrielle sonnet has 8 syllable lines). However, they all have uniform line lengths. This poem’s lines varied from six syllables to eleven syllables. It was also 16 lines long. Every sonnet I have ever come across has 14 lines. They also have a volta (turn) that occurs somewhere around lines 8-10. This turn provides an unexpected change in meaning, or expands on the original thought in an obscure manner.

Another characteristic of sonnets is that they have set rhyme schemes. These are different depending on the type of sonnet. In mine, I wrote a petrarchan sonnet. It’s rhyme scheme is abbaabba cdecde. Other main forms of the sonnet are the Shakespearean Sonnet and the Spenserian Sonnet. They have different rhyme schemes. To my understanding, the rhyme scheme is what determines which sonnet it is.

What this poster did by calling their poem a sonnet was to provide a disservice to both their readers and themselves. By calling it a sonnet, those aware of poetry forms will find fault and lose the intended meaning of the poem simply because they are too caught up with the form being wrong. Those of their readers who don’t have this knowledge, but wish to try writing a sonnet themselves, would then perpetuate the erroneous assertion of that being a sonnet. It will dilute the form, and eventually, a sonnet would become anything written about love.

In all fairness, perhaps this poster was not aware of the various requirements. Perhaps they had witnessed someone else do this very thing, and thought they were writing a sonnet.

I really don’t like to critique in this way, but if you are saying you are writing in a classic style, you should make sure that you really are.


Posted by on September 4, 2010 in opinion/editorial, poetry, writing


Tags: , , , , , ,

10 responses to “Sweetest Nectar (sonnet) (IV)

  1. onescoobthree

    September 4, 2010 at 10:00 pm

    Your words flow like sweet honey, and taste even sweeter. How dear you are to me, mine everything. *kisses*

    And your commentary is quite true, calling a poem a sonnet (or any other form for that matter), does not make it so.

    • falcon1974

      September 4, 2010 at 10:06 pm

      Sadly, if enough people do call a poem a sonnet, the truth would be buried beneath the lies of popular belief. 😦

      Thanks dear. You have awakened such happiness in me. I never lack inspiration when I think of you. 😀

  2. Sue

    September 5, 2010 at 7:16 pm

    Not to sound snooty – but I am – my nose is high in the air – which is hard to do being so short…

    BUT not every one has the luck, or whatever, to be involved with a wonderful group of bloggers and poets, story tellers and all round writers as we do on My Space. The groups on MS are marvelous teachers, validators and offer constructive critiques. (By the way, as a non WP viewer I cannot view blogs by tags as well as you are able to.) People who blog, write, scribble on WP may not belong to a community, hence no one to teach them, validate, or assist. To say that I am lucky by happenstance, to have found MS is an understatement. I could not have written my latest posted poem without the encouragement from my poet friends

    Out of curiosity – did you tell the poster your thoughts ?

    • falcon1974

      September 5, 2010 at 10:28 pm

      Hey Sue! Thanks for your feedback. Those are all valid points. I can only go by my experiences. When I first started writing poetry 3 years ago, I did so in several ways. I wrote what came to me, I learned different forms by going to other blogs and seeing the form explained, and I used Google to actually find examples and directions on how to write a certain form. One thing I never did (only because I was really self conscious) was to call one of my poems a form, when I wasn’t sure it was. I actually put harsher expectations on myself than anyone else.

      I actually neglected to. At the time I read it, I was really tired, and felt it was better to just keep my mouth shut. I hadn’t had time to really think about what was bothering me. I just felt it viscerally inside me. Knowing that I wouldn’t be articulate, and potentially rude, I didn’t comment. I should have bookmarked the page so that I could go back and explain this to them. Hindsight is 20-20. Unfortunately that feature does not allow us to go back past a certain time frame, so I have no idea where to look for it now. However, I felt by no mentioning the person’s name, I was making a statement, not about the person, but the action.

  3. Sue

    September 6, 2010 at 12:50 pm

    Wow you really tried to learn poetry – and obviously did – You did not call your poems at that time by its form name – and yes – maybe at that time – it would have been pretentious

    And we are all more critical of our work than others are. I sometimes think my readers on MS are not constructively critical enough – they are my teachers after all…

    You were so right not to contact the poster – not when you are tired and cranky. When I get into certain moods I know what can attempt and what cannot attempt. And, in the end, I expect it is just as well that you did not contact him (or her). And your point was clear. As we age or mature, we learn that rudeness may be avoided – except when it is necessary !!!

    • falcon1974

      September 6, 2010 at 2:54 pm

      The way I looked at it, it was a release valve for a lot of stress and emotions. I wanted to learn the various forms so that I would have a foundation to build upon. I owe a lot of my development as a writer/poet to Dahlia, JB, D J Myke and Miss Mojito from MS. They have taught me so much in my time there.

      In a way, I feel this was a better way, since it takes away the finger pointing. It becomes a matter of the actions being examined rather than an indictment on one person.

  4. Joleene Naylor

    September 8, 2010 at 6:38 am

    First of all – great write!

    I’ve never attempted a sonnet, though I will have to some day, I imagine. I rarely do the form poetry unless it’s for a specific “thing” – like the CPC events. Probably the poster was unaware of what a sonnet was and, on one hand I agree that you should have informed them, but on the other I wonder how I would feel if I didn’t know it and someone commented that to me? Then again, you can’t learn if no one tells you… it’s a vicious circle.

    • falcon1974

      September 8, 2010 at 10:24 am

      That’s another reason I was hesitant. With MS, there is the built in private messaging…At least that way you could say something without announcing it to the world. I think that would have been a better way to say something.

  5. cheryldarr

    October 12, 2010 at 7:00 pm

    First off, you’ve written a beautiful sonnet. I agree with you. To date I’ve written on successful sonnet. I dislike when someone takes the easy road while others struggle

    • falcon1974

      October 14, 2010 at 12:47 am

      Thanks Cheryl. I don’t so much hate the taking the ‘easy road’. Just call it what it is. It doesn’t help anyone to call a poem what it isn’t.

      I’m glad you enjoyed this sonnet of mine.


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